How to cope with Grief?

The Practice of Sharing

Grief definitely can be identified as your natural response to someone or something, you have lost. Grief is the byproduct of your pure love or attachment to someone or something. When you focus more on grief, what happens is that it becomes your emotional suffering and you tend to have a cascade of negative emotions like anger, shock, sadness, guilt etc. You fail to get adjusted to the new situation as you are engulfed by your disbelief. It appears that grief can adversely affect your life as it can easily jeopardize your sleep and eating habits, therefore making you more vulnerable to a number of health related issues. Grief controls your ability to think straight. Grief can easily make you stressful and depressed. Your grief can be generated out of different physical reasons like serious illness, death of someone, miscarriage, divorce or breakup, loss of your pet, or your job, friendship, financial stability or a cherished dream etc. Grief can make you feel guilty or fearful. 

A chemical process: When you suffer from grief, what happens is that Cortisol, which can be identified as a 'stress hormone' is being released into your blood stream in large amounts. If you maintain higher levels of Cortisol inside your body, you are more likely to have high blood pressure and even heart diseases. Grief can definitely make your brain flooded with a number of neurochemicals and hormones in such a way that it disrupts the normal way, your brain functions. This is what makes you have anxiety disorders, loss of appetite and sleeping disorders, nausea, aches and pains weight loss or weight gain or fatigue. 

How you are affected: It appears that your grief goes through different stages with or without your awareness. First of all, you are in a denial mode and fail to get adjusted to the new situation. Your denial is followed by anger. You grow angry with yourself and your life situations. You tend to bargain with Nature or God about the situation you have. It's your futile attempt to ward off the new environment, you have just got exposed to. In the very next stage, you feel profoundly sad or depressed as you know that you can't change the situation. The final stage of your grief is your acceptance of the reality. Remember the fact that forgetting is the default mode of your brain. Your memories get automatically deleted unless renewed. This is what helps you play the simulative game well and this is what makes you recovering or resilient in the long run. 

How to cope with the grieving process:

 A) Understand what is happening: It's your natural tendency to grieve over the loss of someone or something. The physical loss of someone or something, you had may have made a void, which can be filled by cherishing their memories or doing things that kept them happy. But when you give it more focus, things get complicated. Life is the opportunity, you chose to get evolved. It's a simulative game, where you try to find out solutions to a number of problems. When you focus more on the problems, what happens is that you can't see the solutions around. You have problems due to your karmic bondage or carelessness or inattention in terms of your life. Focus on yourself rather than on the circumstances in life. Be careful whatever you do and say. Never make any impulsive decisions. Your Karmic problems can definitely be nullified through the power of your free will and the practice of love. 

B) Recognize the reality behind the game of Life: Actually speaking, you don't lose anything. Know how the law of energy works. Nothing is new in the Universe and everything is one. Death is a human construct and it's the beginning actually. Nothing is lost. But energy is reconverted. You literally don't own anything here to be lost, not even your body. Everything is recorded on the quantum database, from where everything can be retrieved. You are the part of the quantum field outside. What you have to do is try to be spiritually activated to get access to the database. If you feel so connected with someone who is dead, you can still get intuitive or telepathic messages or guidance from the departed. This happens either via your meditation or dream. Always remember that everything is interconnected. You are powerful to get your spirit connected with the departed one's and take intuitive messages from them and this is what the mediums among you do. 

C) Life is a simulative game: You are living to get evolved. Liberation is your final goal. The Universe gains from your evolution, because you are the part of the Universe. The Universe is your higher self. You are supposed to be cooperative with different souls playing different simulative roles. You lived many lives, had many mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, kids, relatives, friends etc. You don't remember all theses things, because when you take a new birth cycle, you have to undergo the dementia part so that you can avoid confusion from remembering all the souls, you made for evolution and stay focused on the current soul formation. Nothing works independently in the Universe. Evolution is achieved only through cooperation. You have not lost anything because everything comes from the same source and goes back to the same. You were out there even before you started remembering and you will be out there forever, because you are an eternal spiritual being. Share your feelings with your friends or close relatives; which can make you peaceful. 

D) Reorganize life: If you feel like you have lost someone or something, have your pent up emotions released. If you feel like crying, don't stop yourself from doing that. Chemically speaking, you are releasing Oxytocin and Endorphins while crying; which will make you feel calm later. Preserve the memories of the departed, which include mementos, photos or whatever. The next important step, you can do is create a tribute or memorial to the departed soul and it can be done in many ways. For example, you can plant a tree, or make a garden or a charity in memory of the deceased. Know the fact that music is the mood changer and even though you are listening to sad music it's going to make you peaceful because it works as a cathartic inducer or a mood stabilizer. Start your day with a 5- minute meditation, where you have the inner visualization, plus reaffirmation that you have not actually lost anything and you are the part of the Universe. Get engaged with people or the things, you have to do. Be interactive, with the maximum possible extent. Try to practice love, which will mark a new turning point in your life...